And what it does is accelerate people’s capacity to succeed.Ī version of this story first appeared in the 2019 Women in Entertainment Power 100 issue of The Hollywood Reporter magazine.
#GIGI GORGEOUS BEFORE TV#
People like myself, creators who share their stories, LGBTQ+ characters on TV shows and in movies, are finally giving representation to our community that wasn’t there when I was just starting to find myself at 16. Ultimately, I became the person that I couldn’t find in traditional media. You helped me see that it’s OK, that it doesn’t have to happen overnight, and that it’s the journey that matters.” I changed their life in such a monumental way and yet, I had no idea. Today, it’s surreal to meet people who have followed me from day one and have them say things like, “You are the one that made me realize I’m transgender and that I want to take this journey. She was sitting on the floor with me when I was laying out the pages of my book, He Said, She Said: Lessons, Stories and Mistakes From My Transgender Journey. She was with me when I walked down the aisle. With everything I’ve accomplished since her passing, I feel her influence constantly. But while she was here, she showed me what the essence of a woman is without knowing that was how I identified.
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She passed away when I was 19, and I never got to tell her that I was transgender. The other person who has impacted me most professionally is my mom. She’s so different from me, and having that new perspective has really helped me. As humans, it’s easy to get comfortable and not challenge ourselves. It’s something that I never really thought I would have. We got married in July, and that alliance is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt before. I pinch myself every day.Īnother relationship that I cherish so much is with my wife, Nats. I was so scared, but ultimately it was rewarding. I had to let go of the reins and put my trust in people to tell the most important story in my life. It was so personal, and for the first time I wasn’t the producer/director/editor of how I would be perceived. Still, it was challenging to hand over that film. I loved the lens that she saw life through, and I knew that she was the director I wanted.
#GIGI GORGEOUS BEFORE MOVIE#
But when I was all done, I decided to turn it into a movie with the hope of educating others and letting people know that no dream is too big.īarbara Kopple was one of the first people whom I met with, and I just connected with her. I was literally going to keep it in a vault. I intended on holding the footage secret, to look back on and see how far I’ve come. I knew I had to document this process and immediately started filming. It was talking with them that made me feel like, “You know what? I can do this.” It all happened over the course of years, but it felt so fast because I was posting frequently and things were happening: My career was growing, I was growing up, my body was changing, and my mind was changing. When it came to my transition, the people whom I turned to were my trans sisters, people who had transitioned before me who had years and years of their life being their desired gender and who became my friends in the process. So YouTube really did help me flourish, express myself and find a community where I felt safe to do so. There was no time in my day-to-day life where I could put on makeup and find like-minded people. It was very frustrating to not know where I stood in the world. Looking back, I did not have a role model or even anyone that was in the shape of what I could identify with on TV or in movies. At the end of the day, I never really saw anyone like me on YouTube, so I was truly on my own. But the double-edge sword of YouTube is that you are still in charge of establishing your own identity, in front of a faceless audience who is always ready to judge and criticize. Michelle Phan was doing beauty videos, and her creativity was inspiring, challenging me to attempt different beauty looks and styles. I was 16 and had almost no one to look up to in the beauty space and had to pioneer my own journey.
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When I started on YouTube in 2008, it was a completely different place.